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REAL RELATIONSHIP GOALS: BUILDING THE HEALTHIEST RELATIONSHIP

I see that last year's post on relationship goals has gained a lot of views. With the stats, I decided to give you something REAL in what relationship goals should look like. In no way, shape, or form, am I an expert in relationships. I just live by the old saying, "You live and you learn."

Again, I say I am not an expert, but I am experienced in relationships. In order for a relationship to work, you must have the following.


  1. An understanding: Do not enter a relationship without knowing what the other one expects out of it. You both must have an understanding of the other's desires. Whether it is a casual relationship, a sexual relationship, or just dating until the mood turns red. Understand what each other's objectives are. That way, before you get too involved, you already know where it is headed so you can either escape, or choose to stay.
  2. Commitment: Commit to the understanding. If the relationship is not supposed to be anything serious and just a sexual one, then stick to that. That is originally what you both agreed to correct? Change complicates things, which in most cases, does not work well in relationships. Same goes for entering a relationship based on being monogamous. If that is what you understood, and one decides to venture off, then it is time to rethink the situation and have a talk so you can decide on the next move. 
  3. Honesty and Trust: This is a given. Be honest, be real with each other. That is the only way to know what each other is thinking. If you did something knowing the other would not approve, own up to it. Better to get it off your chest now instead of covering the situation up. Always be genuine, real and honest.
  4. Laughter: Have fun with each other. If you can't laugh with each other, then who else can you be goofy with? Don't be afraid to have fun. 
  5. Affection: Walk up to your mate and kiss them for no reason. Cuddle a little. Show some affection.
  6. Date Nights: Go out with each other. Take an occasional day trip away from the home. Spend a weekend doing something new that neither one in the relationship has ever done. This builds a stronger bond when you both do something together for the first time.
  7. Communication: Okay, maybe this should have been closer to the top but of course this is another given. Without communication, nothing works. Talk. Share how your day went. Don't just talk, but also listen.
  8. Space: With all of the time together in a relationship, don't forget to spend time a part as well. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. This also helps one not to become to dependent in the relationship to where you cannot make a move without the other person. Let the other see that you are able to give them room if need be. If you live together, this becomes a little more complicated but have a day where you are away from the home to give the other a little space. Go out to the mall and do some window-shopping. Go to the gym. Go for a walk, meet up with friends, do SOMETHING that is away from the house for a little bit. Believe me, it works.
  9. Arguments: Fights and arguments are healthy for a relationship. No two people are exactly alike so avoiding arguments are pretty much impossible in a relationship. Regardless what the fight is about, remember to always communicate how you are feeling. Listen to each other. Then give each other a little space to calm down. But never, go to bed with unresolved issues. It carries on to the next day. Another note is to don't be afraid to apologize for arguing, even if you are right. As long as you talked, listened, and thought it out, apologize for the argument itself. Being able to admit mistakes is a part of fixing the problem.
  10. Goals: Set goals for the relationship. Do you want to become a power couple? Do you both want to settle elsewhere? How about children? Goals keeps the both of you working towards a mutual outcome in the relationship. It's not that hard. Keep that goal in mind and push forth with your relationship.
Some ideal power couples I can think of off hand:

Barack and Michelle Obama 

Credit: Essence Magazine
Boris and Nicole Kodjoe

Steph and Ayesha Curry

Will and Jada Smith